Daily journal April 27, 2001, Suffering, My internal struggle with Satan, True salvation.

I have not suffered as much as my mother who lost two brothers tragically in her life and a grandchild had drown still calling his name. There is no land or house or bank account no matter how large would equal the value of any human being wife or brother, son or daughter, husband or mother, child or sister. You cannot put any price on a person's life.

I met in West Texas a good artist that inspired me but seem to be very poor yet he told me only later the problem and that the real reason he was so poor, that his daughter has chromes disease with many operations wherein they took out most for her colon at 20 years old. We may not always know the real suffering that is behind a man or a family. Although, I do not feel righteous like Job, God has sustained us as a family unharmed in the face of great trials where many face Devils approached us from all directions and even a grand child was run over by a minivan seriously but lived without any damage. The miracles of God are endless and I marvel at the Angels of Heaven are with us now. When you face a stubborn Devil with no values other than destruction that threatens you constantly, you must take on the whole armor of God and fall knees in prayer to survive. Prayer has been my weakest link to God but I see Him day by day in everything I do or say, bridging my weakness for a more perfect day when my mind will be in total praise of His holy name. The earth is the Lord's and we should not try to be involved to claim that for ourselves. We are subject to the ways of the Lord in His mighty creation. I wrestle during the night hours with thoughts that are unpleasant and frightening to say the least. My battle with Satan rages on as he returned time and again in the wee hours of sleepless night to torture my soul but I will overcome and rise up victorious for me and family. My understanding has increased and I see an escape of the horrors to a place in the family of God insulated from the attacks of a raging enemy of my soul. I must look through the eyes of the Holy Spirit of God to see eternity and to know the Lord my God personally. When all my surroundings are hostile I see the miracle of the Lord surrounding me with his presence and my survival is no accident. I rejoice in His glory and pray to continue in defiance of the arrogant opposition even though being outflanked I have faith in victory. Prayer must apply to our service to God and not be based on envy or greed or on selfish motives. Understand the big picture that God has for life understanding the losses gain. James 5-1 "Go to now, you rich man, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. 2-Your riches are corrupted and your garments are moth eaten. 3-Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire, you have heaped treasure together for the last days". Show me Lord thy wisdom in me that I receive knowledge and instruction. Guide my hand solo. The Davenport, Iowa, flood is history now along the Mississippi River began to recede

after tens of thousands of sandbags were filled and water in the streets for a week. The Mississippi continues to be a problem while most of the country is facing a drought.

Let all prepare for the problems ahead because we're surely in the last days of God's grace and we face also the future of disasters and we are totally unprepared while we live as though there were no God in heaven. I witness for him today. I witness his presence. You can tell a rich man by his life style denies God in all his ways. I can tell who is a millionaire from who is a multi-millionaire and I can tell those with a hundred million. Money shows. Who has ever taken any money with them when they die or any dirt from this earth of the land they pretend to own. I am in the wilderness but will return to land.